What Lilo & Stitch Can Teach Us About Trauma, Healing, and the Power of ʻOhana
When I first watched Lilo & Stitch, I loved it for the humor and heart. But over the years—as I’ve done my own healing and worked alongside others on theirs—I’ve come to see just how deeply this story speaks to trauma, resilience, and the importance of chosen family.
The recent live-action version brought even more depth, showing us how stories can evolve with us. Together, both versions remind us that healing isn’t linear and that we carry both pain and strength across generations.
Our Parts in the Characters
If you’re familiar with parts work, you might recognize your own inner family reflected in these characters.
Lilo carries the grief, longing, and misunderstood child part—the one who feels like she doesn’t belong, who lashes out not from malice but from pain.
Stitch embodies the chaotic, reactive part of us that was “built for survival.” He’s destructive on the outside but yearning for love on the inside.
Nani, Lilo’s older sister, reflects the over-responsible adult part. She’s doing everything she can to hold it all together—parenting, protecting, managing, surviving—often at the expense of her own needs and despite essentially being a child herself trying to navigate the world without the care of parents.
In therapy, I often see these dynamics within people. We all have parts shaped by trauma—the hurting inner child, the protector who holds the weight of the world, the survivor who may act out in destructive ways. And just like in the film, healing comes when those parts are seen, accepted, and invited into connection rather than pushed away.
Beyond Trauma: What We Pass Down
One of the most striking scenes in the live-action film shows Nani saving Stitch underwater as she’s walking across the ocean floor with so much strength and determination. She’s walking along the ocean floor, just as they showed her mother doing when she was training for hula and surfing. I personally lost it at this moment because it highlights something profound: we inherit more than just trauma.
Yes, intergenerational trauma is real, and many of us carry the weight of struggles passed down through our families. But just as pain is passed down, so is resilience, wisdom, and love. Nani’s strength beneath the water mirrors her mother’s strength—reminding us that we carry not only wounds but also gifts from those who came before us.
The Power of ʻOhana / Chosen Family
The heart of Lilo & Stitch is the Hawaiian concept of ʻohana: family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. This doesn’t only apply to blood relatives. Many of us heal through chosen family—friends, mentors, partners, communities—who see us as we are and love us anyway.
Lilo, Nani, and Stitch show us that family can be imperfect, messy, and unconventional yet still profoundly healing. What matters is the commitment to not leave our parts behind.
What This Story Reminds Us
For those of us on a healing journey, Lilo & Stitch offers some powerful truths:
We all carry parts of ourselves that long for love, even if they show up in messy ways.
Over-responsibility can be a survival strategy, but healing asks us to find spaces where we don’t have to carry it all alone.
Intergenerational inheritance is not only trauma—it’s also resilience, strength, and wisdom.
Community and chosen family are essential for healing.
In the end, Lilo & Stitch isn’t just a story about a little girl and her alien friend. It’s a story about us—our pain, our survival, our capacity for connection, and the families we build along the way.
Because healing is never just about one person. It’s about ʻohana.
Joshua Adair is a compassionate trauma therapist, devoted father, and loving husband who believes in the power of words and connection. As an EMDR Certified Clinician and EMDR Consultant, Joshua is passionate about thorough EMDR education. With a deep love for writing and poetry, Joshua brings warmth and empathy to his work, helping individuals find healing through safe and meaningful therapeutic experiences. He is passionate about creating spaces that allow others to explore, grow, and reconnect with themselves and their loved ones.